From a West Indian friend, so I guess no one will be upset if I post it?
VAGINA KAYAK & PENIS PARADE
Yeah, that title got your attention, huh? We lived in Japan a couple times, once for 3 years, and developed a love/hate relationship with the place. (Probably mutual.) And these 2 pieces give you a sense of why:
JAPANESE POLICE ARREST WOMAN WHO MADE KAYAK MODELED FROM HER VAGINA – AGAIN
“A woman who 3-D printed her vagina and rendered it into a giant yellow Kayak, has been arrested — again — by Japanese police for allegedly trying to show people her “Pussy Boat.” (more here)
And yet, at the same time, the annual Kanamara Matsuri parade:
So, penises … okay.
Vaginas … not so much.
George Carlin on War
The brilliant comedian/philosopher nails it again:
GANDHI ON WISDOM vs MONEY
Not sure of the source or accuracy of this anecdote, but it’s rich none the less.
When Mahatma Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, a professor whose last name was Peters, disliked him intensely and always displayed animosity toward him.
Also, because Gandhi never lowered his head when addressing him as he expected, there were always “arguments” and confrontations.
One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room of the University, and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor.
The professor said,”Mr Gandhi, you do not understand. A pig and a bird do not sit together to eat.”
Gandhi looked at him as a parent would a rude child and calmly replied, “You do not worry professor. I’ll fly away,” and he went and sat at another table.
Mr. Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge on the next test paper, but Gandhi responded brilliantly to all questions.
Mr. Peters, unhappy and frustrated, asked him the following question: “Mr Gandhi, if you were walking down the street and found a package, and within was a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money, which one would you take?”
Without hesitating, Gandhi responded, “The one with the money, of course.”
Mr. Peters, smiling sarcastically said, “I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom.”
Gandhi shrugged indifferently and responded, “Each one takes what he doesn’t have.”
Mr. Peters, by this time was fit to be tied. So great was his anger that he wrote on Gandhi’s exam sheet the word “idiot” and gave it to Gandhi.
Gandhi took the exam sheet and sat down at his desk, trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.
A few minutes later, Gandhi got up, went to the professor and said to him in a dignified but sarcastically polite tone, “Mr. Peters, you autographed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade.”
COUNTRY MUSIC SONG TITLES by Nelson DeMille
From Nelson DeMille’s book Up Country, which has absolutely nothing to do with country music:
“Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth ‘Cause I’m Kissing You Goodbye”
“How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away”
“She’s Out Doin’ What I’m Here Doin’ Without”
“I’m So Miserable Without You It’s Like Havin’ You Here”
TALKING ANIMALS – KINDA
Dude called DJ Shamrock pieced together these excerpts from the BBC show ‘Funny Talking Animals – Walk On The Wild Side.’
Normally, I can’t stand talking animals bits (or dream sequences in movies), but this definitely got me chuckling.
“Alan! Alan! Alan!” (*Thanks to Judy for the heads up on this piece that has apparently been around for quite a while. Ahead of the loop as always, Van.)
50 SHADES OF GRAY CRAP
Hilarious reading of a sex scene from what sounds like a pretty crappy novel. No way this book’s ever going anywhere. Right?
DINING DOG
DINING DOG – Has been done before but this dog has a particularly expressive face. And a nice follow-up to the previous post.
'SUPERBOWL' CALLED by BRITISH ANNOUNCER
I have friends in both Denver and Seattle who are somewhat excited about the Superbowl in a couple weeks. So this is for them. (Personally, I think they should get this guy to announce the game. Might be enough to get me to actually watch part of it. Maybe.)