Mark Twain said, ” “If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.” Substitute ‘main stream media’ for ‘newspaper’ and nothing has changed.
WHY WEST INDIANS ARE ALWAYS LATE
From a West Indian friend, so I guess no one will be upset if I post it?
VAGINA KAYAK & PENIS PARADE
Yeah, that title got your attention, huh? We lived in Japan a couple times, once for 3 years, and developed a love/hate relationship with the place. (Probably mutual.) And these 2 pieces give you a sense of why:
JAPANESE POLICE ARREST WOMAN WHO MADE KAYAK MODELED FROM HER VAGINA – AGAIN
“A woman who 3-D printed her vagina and rendered it into a giant yellow Kayak, has been arrested — again — by Japanese police for allegedly trying to show people her “Pussy Boat.” (more here)
And yet, at the same time, the annual Kanamara Matsuri parade:
So, penises … okay.
Vaginas … not so much.
George Carlin on War
The brilliant comedian/philosopher nails it again:
GANDHI ON WISDOM vs MONEY
Not sure of the source or accuracy of this anecdote, but it’s rich none the less.
When Mahatma Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, a professor whose last name was Peters, disliked him intensely and always displayed animosity toward him.
Also, because Gandhi never lowered his head when addressing him as he expected, there were always “arguments” and confrontations.
One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room of the University, and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor.
The professor said,”Mr Gandhi, you do not understand. A pig and a bird do not sit together to eat.”
Gandhi looked at him as a parent would a rude child and calmly replied, “You do not worry professor. I’ll fly away,” and he went and sat at another table.
Mr. Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge on the next test paper, but Gandhi responded brilliantly to all questions.
Mr. Peters, unhappy and frustrated, asked him the following question: “Mr Gandhi, if you were walking down the street and found a package, and within was a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money, which one would you take?”
Without hesitating, Gandhi responded, “The one with the money, of course.”
Mr. Peters, smiling sarcastically said, “I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom.”
Gandhi shrugged indifferently and responded, “Each one takes what he doesn’t have.”
Mr. Peters, by this time was fit to be tied. So great was his anger that he wrote on Gandhi’s exam sheet the word “idiot” and gave it to Gandhi.
Gandhi took the exam sheet and sat down at his desk, trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.
A few minutes later, Gandhi got up, went to the professor and said to him in a dignified but sarcastically polite tone, “Mr. Peters, you autographed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade.”
Ellen Spoofs Matthew McConaughey's Lincoln Commercial
Worth a view.
HELICOPTER WARNING
No comment needed –
THE MERITS OF BECOMING A BILLIONAIRE
Full credit to Scott Adams for another brilliant Dilbert.
SUAREZ HEARS ITALIAN SAY "BITE ME"
Luis Suarez has a history of biting opponents. Does this look intentional?
COUNTRY MUSIC SONG TITLES by Nelson DeMille
From Nelson DeMille’s book Up Country, which has absolutely nothing to do with country music:
“Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth ‘Cause I’m Kissing You Goodbye”
“How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away”
“She’s Out Doin’ What I’m Here Doin’ Without”
“I’m So Miserable Without You It’s Like Havin’ You Here”